we accidentally imagine

twenty seven.

fixed link mutable link

, that the incense is

that it might . hands

stinging and feel this this we

notice the caused and scrape

along the wooden every

freckle lot, wires behind the

twenty one.

fixed link mutable link

we wonder what would

make us happy, what would

make this headache go away

which keeps distracting us

from everything going on the

scratching pens and observations,

a quote out of context we

leave the incense burning

when we go to sleep even

though we know it's a fire

hazard and it puts our lives in

danger and the lives of all the

other people living above and

below us, and all of the people

we know and the people who

care about what happens to us

even though we never asked

them to. we wonder why it

should matter that something

happens to anyone, we wonder why

we care. and everything is

so quiet.

twenty four.

fixed link mutable link

other without even one

the other and sometimes

sometimes it happens that and

sometimes things are not okay, not

sometimes are not sometimes

happens. and sometimes okay and

sometimes sometimes they are, and

from without. and sometimes

things it happens sometimes to

the other even other to the

other are are, and sometimes

happens. the and and sometimes

sometimes sometimes one one

trying. and sometimes things

it the even trying not .

things even trying sometimes

not okay they to the the

without even are sometimes

things and one to the trying

things sometimes they that we

go from one one to the other

other without even trying.

and they are,, happens we go

from are not okay go from the

other trying. and they not

okay and , and sometimes go

sometimes it happens to, and

happens that we we happens that

we we we go the other not

okay sometimes to even

sometimes things are they are, and

sometimes from one to the other

without and not not , and one to

from even okay, and

sometimes they they and and and

from one to the other without

even one . and sometimes

things sometimes are, and, and

sometimes it happens that to the

are not okay , and sometimes

they are , and sometimes to

the the other sometimes

things are not okay, and one to

the sometimes things, and

sometimes they are the even trying

okay , and sometimes , and

from one okay okay, from from

we without even even

trying to the other to and

sometimes are, go from from .. are

not okay we go things and

sometimes it. even things even are

are go other without even

trying sometimes things they

are,, from one to the other

not okay, and and from one

without trying. and are not not

okay, and and that we to

thirteen.

fixed link mutable link

we wait for a few minutes

and wonder if it would be

okay for us to ask now: "is

this beautiful?" we wonder

if nobody noticed and we

watch the air just sort of move

around through the leaves. we

take another breath with the

sunlight and feel warmer.

throughs and arounds

behindingly the now nowing while

again the time continues and

stops and continues again.

circles of ink we close our eyes.

twenty two.

fixed link mutable link

bird we don't can't

recognize . recognize. we can't we

can't help help but smile at

the somehow the voices and

making us more okay another not

? every time we lean lean

lean our lean the. we are

outside . . while. where again

the theringly , the the,

while longer and the while

keeps making we seasonal call

we recognize help but

smile at the sound of people

laughing and harmony against

acoustic acoustic acoustic hear

all and making us making us

feel not warmer but . okay.

which slantingway or

combination one thing work and not

not ? the time we vibrations

more? lean our ears try our

actions but try not the sun

breathe for a again the hand hand

ticking again that making that

keep sniffling bird call

seasonal allergies . a bird

recognize don't don't the harmony

against the against make and

inside our chests and chests

and and inside inside okay

combination combination making and

another vibrations more quiet

not?? the more quiet every?

the

one.

fixed link mutable link

and just like that, the

page turns for us. the next

series of random numbers fill

the screen and we begin to

imagine dots and we begin to

connect them and agree and

disagree with them, relate to

them and question them and

share them. the page glares.

we glare. everybody is

glaring and nobody is laughing

and then one of us starts

laughing, and another one of us

starts laughing, and we are all

laughing and the paper is

laughing and the inkdots are

laughing: the numbers are

laughing too.

fifteen.

fixed link mutable link

possibilities fanning

out into entire out into

weigh. we end up just going

with with the one any, for

first and good as first and as

now at for for our instincts

but but we don't don't but at

least least don't them for our

instincts but all these different

responses,, different are are

responses responses. we smiling

we don't know why social

gestures us social gestures

amplifying of people gestures

amplifying because amplifying

across gestures amplifying

across a group of why they

thought the of it half of it many

things at single car in this

traffic behind different

struggle behind there was more

seeming and and them ever of them

all fanning out

possibilities fanning options

impossible going saw first and that

seems as good as any, saw as

good as now now at that seems

as as as, as

twenty three.

fixed link mutable link

the floorboards

kinetic energy which pushes

bits of us is so resonant

climb how cars turn their

wheels the out to be joke

without a punchline, a story one

another with after facts the

screams, paints and violins

keeps ticking and we not going

the other and we the around

sun is landing paper whole

is glowing we can skin. we

don't or not but care and

four.

fixed link mutable link

it's hard to speak

sometimes. we are frustrated with

ourselves for our

inconsistencies once at peace and

allowing things to be just the way

they are and want to be,

always taking action and never

taking action,

leftandrighting with the leftandright

once again wishing things

were a different way or that

the coin had landed on the

other face; we can't figure

out who we are, and we aren't

quite sure if that question

leads anywhere hard to find

the energy to say anything,

too many responses waiting

behind each option which never

seem to go anywhere

positive, anywhere that doesn't

hurt anybody or dissipate

into the grass as if nothing

had happened in the first

place and we begin to wonder if

anything actually did or does

happen or if we had somehow just

thought it all up out of some kind

of desperation and

confusion aimed at nothing in

particular, cycles going back and

forth but never quite the same

way, always surprising

somehow and adding to the

confusion and lack of any sense of

place, the feeling that we are

nowhere and the feeling that we

are getting nowhere.

nine.

fixed link mutable link

we are breathing. and we

are still breathing. one

thought and another passing by

in the street while we ask

ourselves if this is going

anywhere if we should instead be

focusing on something else like

the way the smoke is

drifting away from the incense

stick, or the sound our eyelids

make when we blink. is there a

place for rushing anymore?

the softmurmurs again,

reminding us about our breath: and

a little blue bird lands

on the windowsill. it is

singing.

six.

fixed link mutable link

silence and quiet now. a

small voice humming and

laughing in the other room. a

crystal or some melting snow.

behinds toward while again

around where's or why's while

leftandright shrinking silently. a

wooden creak. a scratch. all

centers things happening all

around, things just happening

and just being the way they

are. and we realize that this

is a beautiful thing. that

this is a beautiful thing.

ten.

fixed link mutable link

we ask ourselves some

question we can't hear, muffled

because our heads are

underwater, this cold sensation

pressing on our foreheads while

we feel our socks becoming

heavy, cottonfibers grabbing

skin and dragging behind our

feet, cold passing between

our toes. maroon painted

walls and a thick sweater,

crinkling plastic bag full of

snacks. we notice it is becoming

later every moment, and that

as soon as we count one

number there is another in

front of that, always room for

another one or zero or eighty

seven or pencilcase

dirtyshoe, these power outlets

rusting over even though we

can't see where the water

could have come from fading in

the carpet telling which

way people walk most

without asking why they walk it

so often when it seems

there are so, so many other

ways to go and that this way

isn't even the easiest or most

efficient or beautiful or

surprising: they are taking the path

because it is the path they take,

and we can't help but

laughalittle at how beautiful that is

not to say that one is better

than another or that anyone

is wrong for going the way

they do or that we think we are

better than going that

particular way to the couch, but

that we know in the end we are

going to go that way too and

that's just fine. it's just as

good an option as any so we

don't see a reason why not it's

beautiful enough and it's

surprising enough and that itself

may be the most beautiful

and surprising thing of all

at the moment.

thirty one.

fixed link mutable link

are, for finally for

whyhow minute whyhow

thumpingly changing growing,

shapes in of remember kind.

have things they happen

illusion and that taking that

taking a not so and so much so

much between our and our, on

or off or or by bacteria and

fungi having means, over no

control, our this beautiful

thing thing is that's

completely be if we following a

twenty.

fixed link mutable link

a. we everything is

maybe we remember why, so pink

remember why , but. “can while ?”

and it stay like this for a

while,, smell of outside..

sticks , it the smell of damp a

slowmoving we don't. stay like, for

once , it does smell sticks

from slowmoving sound

outside so maybe we remember why

, like a while ?” and it

stay like , it does

twelve.

fixed link mutable link

we never seem to notice

the changes until they've

already happened. or at least

they are well into

happening. we wonder why that is:

the clouds evaporating and

the sun coming out, the air

getting so slightly warmer; a

single row of bricks painted a

different color. who the behinds

through before how's and where

when whenever the

againagain the words repeatingly

as we notice a little

cottonfluff drifting toward us. it

sticks to our ink, and we ask

again where meaning comes

from. a million coins being

thrown every instant, fields

of possibility so

terrifyingly wide staring us in the

eye so intensely we have to

look away and we notice this

little bug just flying around,

landing, and flying around

again. flying, landing, and

flying around again.

thirty.

fixed link mutable link

place when it seems

minute new question comes to

which why we to begin with at

the moment or we to., and we

we wonder be next years

that nothing changes and we

unexpected nothing really nothing

: are “who and we and

unable are return are unable to

are then we we begin laugh

questions when it place the first

place when place when it seems

it minute or second a new to

our to our ears to which is

which much, so much more

important a good of a important we

can't good question to begin

with handwriting laugh, and

we laugh, if changes over

years or if nothing changes

the we that changes and we

ask ourselves an are ?”

unexpected question unexpected

question in question answer we.

and then to are unable.

begin then and, laugh and

laugh questions are in when

our which ears which our

like question to question to

begin we able and we. if over if

that ourselves are unable

answer unable to.. know. begin

to, these like second a, so

can't think a begin are able to

read. and laugh laugh, if

anything, be next these years or

ever really changes

ourselves an unexpected question

in. we don't know. laugh we

. are aimless so are these

questions place when it seems like

every minute which is so, like

why we can't think we a how we

are able to read to read

handwriting., and what might be over

these reject the we ask “who

are you we

seven.

fixed link mutable link

tangling wires into

these bizarre shapes, rugs

with strange colors and

melodies waitingly, taking deep

breaths before the speech where

we finally speak our

minds: "won't everybody

please, please stop this

cruelty? can't we see how

unnecessary it is?" some glass

window creaking under winds,

some oil spilled in a parking

lot. how again the why's and

who's before and after or some

some behind throughingly, a

manual for writers of research

papers about electrical

engineering and game theory,

complex analysis and early

marxist painting; the

walls of this place have

shoulders that are

sagging, somewhere in these

pages an actual answer to a

question that matters. a new pair

of jeans, a holiday

decoration left up for months, a

lightbulb which doesn't fit even

though we could have sworn the

size was right at the store.

color combinations making us

feel sick and wonder why we

care about the dissonance,

why we should prefer one to

the other. we conclude that

we're all just bits of air

moving with the waves of some

song we can't hear: now

banging on the wooddrums, the

thoughts and the doubts, hopes or

imaginations throwing fists at the

organ keyboard, some body of

loud waters, some

electrical structure groaning in

rains particles trapped in

the breezings, the sine

waves, the eyeballs thrown

left and right or up and down

or is that a sign of

happiness, of

peacefulness? who's to tell what's

harmony and what's dissonance?

who's to tell the words of the

song when each moment's just

a few bits of data? hard to

see the picture from a

pixel, hard to find the poem

through a word a letter an inkdot

the arounds and behinds

lost somewhere in the mix,

the breath being exhaled

before we even noticed it was

inside our bodies, each note

rising just a little higher or

just a little more like dirty

wallpaper: we ask each other where

it happened. where the

music got faster. where the

blue became green, where the

light was switched on and the

newer waves began to

interfere with things and distort

the shapes, canceling out

or multiplying or

performing more complicated

operations until the noise is noise

and the signal is noise and

the noise is still noise yet

somehow wider, more sideways

and spinningly and

uppingly and backwardly, more

harsh and out of sync, now neon

colorlines and batteries, strange

gaps in the spiral not

patterns but something about

them which makes us feel the

walls are moving further away

and the room is becoming

smaller, that one moment is

another and the second hand is

somehow different this time

around. we cannot help but go to

sleep again, this time with a

strange smile and already

looking forward to coffee. this

time with socks and a thicker

blanket. this time with the

windows open: and in comes the

cooler air.

eighteen.

fixed link mutable link

systems all around us

and our lives fracturing

breaking apart piece by piece as

we keep trying to glue

things back together with

words and theories and poems

and cathedrals

architectures in the mind and and later

in concrete, we begin to

feel jittery as we realize we

haven't stood up in hours, this

chair and its arms a little too

narrow, pressing against the

sides of our skulls, plurals

and singulars not having so

much significance to us now

when the lights are

flickering so subtly. we pray but

don't know who we are praying

to who we are praying for,

what we want, what we should

want. fading. fading.

three.

fixed link mutable link

how did we get here? the

questions which keep making their

way inside our mouths as if

we never could learn from

the last time we couldn't

answer and instead only become

more unhappy and began to

throw things at the walls with

some inexpressible anger

screaming and shouting with a red

face and bulging veins,

fists again and again against

the door not even caring

what's on the other side, too

caught up with the idea of the

door being there in the first

place another why and another

if causing the lights to

flicker and the stove to begin to

smell like something is

burning so we all try to remember

what we had done in the

kitchen last but we can't

remember, and even the attempts to

remember make us shout with fewer

words, make us scream with our

fingers and pound harder and

harder on the door while the

wood is splintering here and

there and the doorframe

appears to budge this time or

that time or this time again

and again and again

sixteen.

fixed link mutable link

. we we lungs breathe and

to it funny questions.

funny how we can't help but

smile coming but smile when

the we whose names remember

and so many many stick of

incense and we forget but smile

smile when the sun coming back

cue can't remember lines

and so many lines. so

remember lines lines lines and so

many many lines of incense

and we breathe breathe ask

funny can't help when sun sun

starts coming back right

starts right coming back right

starts the sun starts coming of

these colors lines and so many

lines the incense is and

somehow becoming incense

incense is is still glowing in

still glowing lungs we

breathe we breathe breathe

lungs still glowing and

somehow becoming smoke in in our

lungs we lungs lungs and we

forget to. we forget to

questions. . we can't the starts

coming back help laughing !.

funny on coming back on whose

we can't shades of these

colors. and lines and lines we

lines these colors whose and

twenty five.

fixed link mutable link

mistakes. little

faster and with more. every

repetition getting and little

getting and with. fewer

mistakes. outside becoming

heated outside becoming

heated while we going while we

do our we. best we aren't do

our best to pretend our

pretend we becoming. going on

fewer, more accurate, little

little faster and little more

getting a little more accurate,

faster and with fewer mistakes

. going on to pretend

heated while we. the

conversation going on outside while

our best to pretend we. best

getting a little more accurate,

a fewer mistakes. the

becoming heated while we do our on

the conversation going the

zero.

fixed link mutable link

and all at once things

are so quiet, a tiny hiss

from the walls, distant

clanging of a ventilation fan. we

breathe with the sunlight,

passing clouds causing these

little pulses in the sunglow

and somehow we feel it in our

toes even though we can't

quite tell why the wind

chooses the pitches it sings

against the window, why one

harmony should point to

another, why every story has some

sort of climax where

elements and trajectories

culminate into some bigger thing

as if we had been heading

there all along as if there

were some kind of purpose

behind the penscratches or

where this leaf decides to

fall in this rotting pile we

notice a pain in our lower back

from bad posture and some

strange sense of pressure from

the bottom of our right foot

now the ventilation fan

slowing down into a periodic

banging; we notice a coin lying on

the ground but we can't make

out which side it landed on.

do we care? is it good to

care? would it matter if we

knew? we are staring at the

coin and the coin is staring

back.

twenty six.

fixed link mutable link

or intended, but

expected going the way we in

always seem to fall going maybe

that intended, but. and

interactions all these and concrete,

, spray paints and

interactions. spray all all a squares

and things, shapes

themselves up behind each other the

seem to the way we in the wrong

direction the direction the could

could be the thoughts again.

ideas paints and

interactions and. happens squares

and trangles into shapes

sort of

eleven.

fixed link mutable link

we keep asking

questions like “will this make me

happy?” when instead it might be

more interesting to ask what

it would sound like if the

leaves on every tree were poems

written on little sheets of

paper and everybody in the

world began to read them out

loud all at the same time and

then the wind began to blow

and the poems went flying in

the air all around and

everybody just watched it happen

in complete silence we

can't help but smile a little,

and then a lot. and someone

hugs the stranger to their

left and we all begin to

laugh. we ask ourselves

another question we can't hear

because of all the wind and

poems, and that's just fine we

realize we didn't want to know

the answers anyway when

there are so many confusing

and beautiful things all

around us anyway. we just keep

laughing and grabbing poems out

of the air, sometimes

deciding to read them and

othertimes using them as napkins.

the wind, the wind is

laughing too.

nineteen.

fixed link mutable link

the corner of the room

empty except for the little

grooves in the floorboard, we

smile. the moments going and

going in such a beautiful way

that we can't take our eyes

off it, noticing just how

inconsistent things are, how blurry

and arbitrary the

differences seem between things and

people and ideas, how musical a

painting can sound the ink never

seems to dry.

eight.

fixed link mutable link

we accidentally

imagine ourselves as having for

a head this strangely

shaped box or a bird feeder with

a triangular roof or

something similar and we are

sitting in the front passenger

seat of an old car and someone

we care a lot about asks,

who are you? and we

think for a minute, and then

another. we aren't able to answer

with anything except a held

hand, and we somehow find

ourselves caring more about them

just because they asked.

they can't answer either,

and the grip gets tighter

and they aren't making eye

contact but that's okay because

we aren't looking anyway

and we are both these

strange wooden boxes attached

to bodies, heads without

eyes which still say so much,

eyes without laughinglines

which always find new things

to smile about an itch

behind our ears, the way this

piece of paper falls on the

ground, the sound of an overhead

lamp switching on laughing

about nothing in particular

and everything in

particular, wanting to want

everything and wanting to want

nothing, to feel everything and

to feel nothing, or at

least something the grip

getting tighter and we remember

how okay it is, how

beautiful it is and how funny it is

that poetry and music might

be the same thing after

all, that hiding is okay

sometimes and being naked is okay

too, that sometimes things

lead to other things, and

sometimes they don't, and

sometimes things just happen and

they keep just happening and

they don't stop. they don't

stop and it seems like they

never will, so it starts

making sense to just accept

this and close our eyes and

smile a little but somehow

this feels impossible. we

get frustrated and start to

do things we don't want to

do, blaming other people

for things nobody had

control over in the first place

and jumping to conclusions

and making assumptions

about other people and their

intentions and what they want or

what they are afraid of. we

forget that they are us, that

their grip is getting tighter

and that nothing is okay for

them either. we remember

that their boxy head is

crying and we have been trying

not to notice. we remember

that we are all the same

person born into different

bodies, and that this is a

beautiful thing. this is a

beautiful thing.

five.

fixed link mutable link

quietingly, the

softmurmurs not trying to say

anything in particular or

convince anyone of anything,

prefering to let things just exist

the way they are and stay the

same when they need to stay

the same and change when

they need to change, or not

even need to stay the same or

need to change but maybe

instead want to stay the same or

want to change, or rather: it

just happens. it just

happens, and it keeps just

happening. the softmurmers not

even speaking about what's

going on or what's not going on

but instead just

mentioning about whatever is on

their mind at that moment,

letting it out and letting it go,

the sound waves not

disappearing but echoing off a

thousand surfaces and every

blade of grass, split and

muffled and distorted and

echoed until they sound like

dead trees, the sun pushing

the waves around a little

through the screen door, gnats

in the air just sort of

moving around.

seventeen.

fixed link mutable link

marbles in a glass bowl,

not going anywhere in

particular seeming to wonder where

the birds get their

melodies, their strange rhythms

tinkling or rubbing cardboard.

the dark bottle looking

right back, eyes glimmering

so loudly with the

sunlight or fluorescent

flickerings or uncharged

batteries. the lithium looking for

water. how's this different?

asking between colorshades

and subject matter like it

were important or something

or something or something

or anothersong

thismomentingly or an old box of cereal,

casting shadows longer than

expected somehow while the light

reflects in its own color onto the

walls and the nearby desk

surface, papers scattered from

months before piled over each

other, some important some not

so much, some with colors

and blindly drawn

paintings and some printed out

from an old black and white

laser jet printer, whatever

that means, whatever those

meaning.

twenty nine.

fixed link mutable link

word which bounces

through just going our just we

just somehow and we help

little then absurd it that ever

even things like week, time

sound like to they were. we as

they listened. to write

things so much and books for

breakfast tomorrow might be for

breakfast one are without any,

with a scratchy pen and going

through with just happen

somehow and at how absurd it

laugh absurd it that we ever of

at the same listen (we

suspect nobody is they worrying

so as listened. down as to

write as much about and books )

about what be for breakfast

tomorrow or why one we to begin

with , just going pen and

going straight on to word on to

word which just going with it

going . happen it but smile and

but we ever even things

things happening at the same

time happening of the week

and days at like were to ) and

we so much about

scheduling worrying start (not

books (not worrying tomorrow

or why we cross be or place

of another when

particular intention to begin just

going across lines one one

with lines on to word which

bounces through our just going

with still things can't help

but smile and even think

things like numbers of time

nobody is someone were to

listen suspect to listened.

down listened. to write

worrying so as they listened

thinking (not be for breakfast

worrying tomorrow thing out we

thing place of another when we

sense of begin with,

particular of intention to

scratchy pen on to ear just going

it next which to word on our

ear we and with it. and can't

help but smile we help but

smile a little then laugh at

even think that we ever of

what numbers of the week,

what sound like if were to

listen (we were suspect nobody

is ) if they worrying so

much about scheduling and

worrying ) what might be for

tomorrow or be thing out we are

two.

fixed link mutable link

because the longer we

stare at the details, the less

we are sure they even

matter.

fourteen.

fixed link mutable link

we suggest a

counterpoint the stays the and about

the care care wind. a the,

and beforemaroon

underthere,, a beforemaroon

underthere beforemaroon , again

with questions eyes with the

questions ideas how to under a when

when we are inside it these

things all moving but to

fingers we counterpoint.

conversation stays the same and stays

the the conversation

really seems. agains wind

about the wind the wayingsong

a we or a beforemaroon,,,

the eyes again with with the

eyes stuck we are are stuck it

all moving so usual fingers

and little fingers

woodenbits we counterpoint. stays

the same and nobody really

wind. or, with questions see

see under to see under color

when we a color stuck

twenty eight.

fixed link mutable link

smear the ink and try to

smear the ink and with our but

somehow it the and remains

legible . we were hoping misread

a or note help us or

otherwise technique or execution

would be better, more

question the a moment, it go our

just. the warming about

anything could and if never and

pointing the many little motions

and forth leaving any

because even roads enormous

statues collapse and things

just what they always to what

to do what they where of

come whether there ,

something could really be the

leaves decided leaves decided

some need some or urge

decided or these grid patterns

look now someone we know

comes walking but up look up so

they don't see us so they

don't say don't say don't they

don't say anything . or

quietly that be know don't,

really. we don't out walk out of

sight. and another which the,

and we at we notice that the

sun , and is in front of us we

how moves it around our hand

but somehow sticks to

legible were hoping were

remains hoping might make us a

word or of something

otherwise. question idea of

relevancy . a moment and let it

close eyes and wind and the sun

the our legs feel the sun

warming our we wonder what this

about anything we wonder if

anything prepare us it or us and if

it would met conversation

their destination other

about the many different many

different the other how they

learned little motions forth

without leaving of even roads

and and enormous

eventually and and fade eventually

do always were to try to

figure out where the in from,

whether we made it all it all,

whether we up there, that maybe

the leaves decided some to

grow in such a way these grid

patterns come from below know our

sitting we below from below. we

don't see us so they or maybe to

just anything , that

sometimes don't know, really,

really of glance wonder sun is

behind us ,

we accidentally imagine

by andrew yoon

we accidentally imagine

by andrew yoon

twenty seven.

twenty one.

twenty four.

thirteen.

twenty two.

one.

fifteen.

twenty three.

four.

nine.

six.

ten.

thirty one.

twenty.

twelve.

thirty.

seven.

eighteen.

three.

sixteen.

twenty five.

zero.

twenty six.

eleven.

nineteen.

eight.

five.

seventeen.

twenty nine.

two.

fourteen.

twenty eight.